The Persisters are slowly but surely coming back from summer vacation and while we were gone, we found interesting and totally not trashy ways to deal with everything that has happened over the last 200 days (who’s counting?). Feel free to try out some of these methods, or comment your own below! Always looking for more distractions.
Trying to find out WTF Jake Paul and Cameron Dallas do
- If 2017 has given us anything, it’s the absolute downfall of Jake Paul. Jake Paul is white male privilege and teenage invincibility all rolled into one nightmare of a human being. And I love it more than anything else this year. He’s a fucking lunatic. His neighbors are trying to sue him because he and his 9 OTHER ROOMMATES (#Team10) turned the neighborhood into a teeny bopper hellfire. He was fired from his Disney Channel show because of it and now thinks that the entire world is against him. He is richer than I will ever be because he once posted 6 second videos on a now defunct social media platform. It’s a great hate-watch if you’re into 18 minute Youtube videos where everyone is screaming. His tagline is “IT’S EVERYDAY BRO” and this video is required viewing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jC0BbeFd2zA
- Cameron Dallas is not as insane as Jake Paul but still goes on tour even though I do not understand what his skills are aside from pranking people on Vine (again, this website no longer exists but he’s still raking in stacks of cash). He only hangs out with identical clones of himself and for some reason has an assistant. Please watching “Chasing Cameron” on Netflix so we can all discuss our theories on what exactly Cameron does. Also don’t sleep on the fact that his hair color is different every 15 minutes.
- I paid money that I made at my adult job to see a 19 year old in concert later this month. Sometimes you just gotta cope by listening to a teenager sing love songs at you. He’s adorable, Canadian, and UNFAIRLY DREAMY. He’s so hot I want to die and I’ve slid into his DMs twice. I was not sober. I feel badly every day about it. I’ll let Shawn defend himself:
LEARN IT LIVE IT LOVE IT
- I’ve been a part of the Bachelor Nation since Juan Pablo’s season (congrats on the marriage, btw………). But I’ve taken it to the next level this season to drown out all the political background noise/voices in my head telling me to build an underground bunker. This is embarrassing to admit, but I watch the Afterbuzz TV show dedicated to breaking down all things The Bachelorette and listen to two Bachelor-related podcasts (insert monkey covering her eyes emoji here). The podcasts both feature Ashley I., who, tbh, isn’t my favorite star from the franchise. One podcast, I Don’t Get It, features Ashley I, her sister Lauren I. (who you will remember from her brief stint in Bachelor in Paradise), and Naz Perez. The other podcast is The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast. If you know my Bachelor franchise opinions, you know Ben Higgins is my favorite Bachelor. I often tell people that if they are setting me up with someone, make sure he’s a Ben. And now that Ben is single, all bets are off–I’m coming for ya boi.
Consuming escapist media
- When reality feels too unbearable, I dive into shows and books that take me away from here. Lately that has ranged the gamut from fantasy world Westeros in Game of Thrones (y’all, y’all, I’m worried about Drogon) to 1969 New York in Good Girls Revolt (which fired me up and made me believe that we all can affect change) to, most recently, The Handmaid’s Tale (beautifully shot, but in all other aspects horrifying. Give them all the Emmys). Alongside the critically acclaimed, I’ve also been watching Gilmore Girls and returning to the fantasy world of Stars Hollow and 2005 (so many Bush jokes! Bless.)
Considering a pup
- EVERYONE IN MY LIFE HAS A DOG EXCEPT ME and most of them are goldendoodles and this all seems monumentally unfair. I spent an entire evening perusing available pups at Nashville shelters online and reading about dogs that do well with cats (because my cat, Pippi, is the queen of this house). Shout-out to my husband for dealing with my irrational need for a dog. That said, if anyone has a beagle they’re looking to get off their hands, I’m interested.
Also, wine, secret bars, tacos, and other Saturday afternoon adventures.
Clearly, we’re all doing really well. How are you coping these days? Tweet us at @persisterhood4